A 12-Step Program for Ripped-Off Writers April 3, 2009
Posted by Charles Bosdet in Humor, Writing.Tags: billing clients, deadbeat clients, Humor, Writing
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A freelance writer recently asked what she could do to avoid nonpayment for her services. “Get a contract up front!” was a suggestion everyone could get behind. Nonpayment is a risk in any business, but for writers it may be rocketing in cyberspace.
So I was thinking perhaps the hapless writer could simply adopt some U.S. banking practices to good effect, taking advantage of the country’s shedding of usury laws. Something like a Writer’s 12-Step Program for Wayward Clients. Something like:
- Invoice client.
- Start charging interest with second billing.
- If still not paid, declare client a credit risk and add a late-payment penalty to the bill.
- Because client is now officially a credit risk, double the interest rate.
- Assess another late-payment penalty at next billing cycle.
- Etc.
- Once the accumulated amount owing reaches a certain level (an amount with at least one comma in it or that is, say, double or treble your original invoice), advise client that he/she/it is about to go to collection if you’re not paid.
- Sell the debt to a debt collector, who will pay you some percentage of the invoice total.
- On the way to the bank, shed a tear that things had to go this way. Then buy yourself a box of chocolate to cheer yourself up.
- What? Your former client is a charge-off? Report client’s default to Dunn & Bradstreet.
- Scratch client off your Christmas list.
- On New Year’s Eve, cheerfully toast the new year.
Just a thought.
